The dig-site diary of Useless
Useless is the network’s eraser-in-residence. It has now been moved to the Stegosaurus quarry, still in a hard hat, and told to keep well clear of the tail. Every fact in here has been checked by someone more qualified, i.e. anyone.
- Day 1
New dig: Stegosaurus. Same hard hat. Nineteen more plates than I have, and four tail spikes I’ve been told to admire from a distance. Natural History Museum press release: World’s most complete Stegosaurus goes on show, 2014
- Day 2
Stegosaurus means “roof lizard”, because Marsh thought the plates made a roof. I once thought a lampshade was a hat. We all make the roof mistake. Smithsonian Magazine: The myth of the eight-spiked Stegosaurus, 2011
- Day 3
Its brain was about the size of a plum. Mine is about the size of a crumb. A plum is a promotion. Natural History Museum: Stegosaurus (Dino Directory)
- Day 4
The second brain in its hips was never a brain. I have no brain in my hips either. Or anywhere. I’m rubber. Smithsonian Magazine: The double dinosaur brain myth, 2012
- Day 5
Sophie weighed about as much as a small rhino. I weigh about as much as a small paperclip. Nobody calls me Sophie. Natural History Museum: Secrets of the Stegosaurus, 2014 · checked 27 Oct 2026
- Day 6
Marsh once drew Stegosaurus with eight tail spikes. There were four. I once said I had eight friends. Also four. Smithsonian Magazine: The myth of the eight-spiked Stegosaurus, 2011
- Day 7
The tail spikes are nicknamed the thagomizer, after a cartoon. My nickname is also from a cartoon. It’s “that thing”. Smithsonian Magazine: Watch out for that thagomizer!, 2011
- Day 8
Its teeth were the size of a little fingernail. I’ve rubbed out a lot of fingernail-sized mistakes. Respect. Natural History Museum: A Stegosaurus brought to life
- Day 9
Stegosaurus couldn’t run: a few miles an hour, tops. I can’t run either. I roll, mostly when somebody knocks the desk. Natural History Museum: A Stegosaurus brought to life
- Day 10
We live closer in time to T. rex than Stegosaurus did. I live closer in time to lunch than breakfast did. Science is a lot. American Museum of Natural History: Apex Stegosaurus fossil and “11 Questions About Stegosaurus”
- Day 11
Nobody knows what colour Stegosaurus was. I am pink and blue, and people still ask. American Museum of Natural History: Apex Stegosaurus fossil and “11 Questions About Stegosaurus”
- Day 12
Sophie was found by a bulldozer in a windstorm. I was found under a sofa. Less dramatic, similar amount of dust. Maidment, Brassey & Barrett (2015), The postcranial skeleton of an exceptionally complete individual of Stegosaurus stenops, PLOS ONE
- Day 13
Stegosaurus is Colorado’s state fossil, thanks to a fourth-grade class. I’m starting a campaign. It’s going slowly. I’m an eraser. Colorado State Archives: Symbols & Emblems
- Day 14
Of 51 spikes studied, about one in ten had broken tips that healed. I have one corner left. It is not healing. Smithsonian Magazine: Watch out for that thagomizer!, 2011
- Day 15
Scientists still argue about what the plates were for. I still argue about what I’m for. We are both display pieces. Natural History Museum: Stegosaurus (Dino Directory)
- Day 16
No Stegosaurus eggs have ever been found. Somebody keeps asking me where they are. I didn’t rub them out. Probably. American Museum of Natural History: Apex Stegosaurus fossil and “11 Questions About Stegosaurus”